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Secaucus Junction

So I saw Windy Dryden speak tonight, and everything is a conscious choice. I have control over my actions because I make choices. I chose to eat half a package of cookies and it is in my control whether or not to do so. I can choose to eat healthily or unhealthily and I choose whether I want to lose weight or not. Everything is in my control. I can choose whether or not I begin my assignments for class early or if I wait until the last minute. These are choices being made. I am fat right now because I am choosing to be fat. I look ugly and fat in my photo with Dr. Dryden because I chose to be fat and I chose to sleep instead of put makeup on. Why? If I have to guess I would say because it's safer...? Maybe it's easier to be rejected and hide behind this fat and blame that for my singleness or unhappiness? What am I afraid of? What am I running away from?

I'm so glad this journal is private. I'm taking these thoughts with me to the grave.

fo

this journal was just created today to have in addition to my other one. all posts from here on will be friends only. thank you.

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